Absent father jokes

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

My dad left me, lol.

Why did my dad leave me?

Because I was gay.

My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.

Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.

What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...

Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.

I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.

My dad left me.

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

Wanna hear a good joke?

My dad’s love for me.

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.