Absence jokes
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
How do orphan jokes start?
Checking your shoulder.
Dmitriy has no mother.
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Your mum isn't home.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't go to home plate.