Absence jokes
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Why do orphans always have water with their cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk!
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
What is the difference between you and an orphan?
Orphans have zero family.
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
Why did the orphan have to eat his cereal with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.