A-Bomb Jokes

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer

Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”

A bomb is like a baby when you drop it everyone screams

What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby.

When you drop them both, everyone screams.

What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion Removing a bomb

I talked to a future suicide bomber, I told him, "ISIS ain't got Sh** on me because I Planted a bomb and lived."

There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.

Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire

What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?

"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."

Are you happy to see me or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and detonator in your hand?

9/11 jokes are a bomb

Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? here's a good example...

A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apperently) through out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "why are you running?" "My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!" They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?" "Grandma farted and the house blew up!"

My name is Jafar I come from afar There's a bomb in my car Allahul Akbar

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash he’s last words were if its a bomb ill give it a 9/11

What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar? It becomes a flee market.

A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it, and shouts "I love my country!", Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country", finally the Iraqi man drops a bomb, and shouts, "I love my country!"

Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted my house blew up!"

A russian, a brit and a terrorist are in an air balloon. First the russian says "i dare to throw a stone down" So he does that but the others dont seem to be impressed so the brit says " i dare to throw a brick down " so again he does that, the russian is impressed but the terrorist laughs and says " i dare to throw a bomb down " so he does that and everybody cant believe what they have just seen so a bit further they land and a shocked and an afraid little boy comes running up to them so they ask what happened, on wich the little boy said " I farted and my school exploded".

I wanted to bomb a restaurant so i went in there with a bomb...but the bomb got diffused and did not work . I asked a person standing nearby i said. "" hey do you know how to fix this bomb so i can blow up this place? "" He gave me a book. It was the quran I said what the hell is that..! He said, " this is the official manual for bomb making."