Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
Haha
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you Jesus for creating holy water
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture unfortunately.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!👍🏼👍🏼😂😂
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week." They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
How do you get a nun pregnant! Fuck her hahaha 🤣
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
Why did the sperm cross the road ———— because I put on the wrong sock today