If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
joe
@joe
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"
Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?