Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say "Tell me if you can hear me", then get in the trunk and start screaming.
"I had a great day today." "Why?" "Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
Other girls be like "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under 😃👍
Dream tweeted, and I quote “Babies kick pregnant women all the time but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested.”
Who Do You Think Is The Fastest Reader? Incorrect It's 9/11, It Went Through 100 Stories In 2 Seconds.
I started an emo salsa band We're called Hispanic at the Disco
👍🏼
Somebody asked me whats that on your arm I just said "My cats got ocd"
Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it :D
i told the emo girl that i bet shes jealous of the hanging lights in the gym
Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you heard Juan you've heard Jamal.
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two now they're a sensitive topic.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question, can go home." A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."
I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.
