Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo, but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
What is gay - curious 🤔 😳
👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.
👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?
🚲 🚲 🚲
😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?
Fingering A minor.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!