Worst Jokes Ever
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.
Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
Cremation,
The last chance for a smoking hot body.
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?
Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”