Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?

They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?

There’s twenty of them.

Titanic was sinking.

Passenger: "How far are we from land?"

Captain: "Two miles."

Passenger: "Which direction?"

Captain: "Down."

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  • What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

    They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

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  • I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

    I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.

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  • A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"

    Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

    When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."

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  • Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

    What’s the difference between women and condoms?

    There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.

    Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.

    Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"