Worst Jokes Ever

What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.

"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.

I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?

De-presso.

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

Do you have dark humor?

Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.

What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?

Angel food cake! 🎂🥳

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It isn't hard.

What type of tape do kidnappers use?

Abduct-Tape.

Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.

The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"

Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?

A Kinder Surprise.

What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!

A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.

Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.

Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.

Why doesn't China have a cricket team?

They always eat the bat.