Worst Jokes Ever
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.
What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?
A rainbow.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
9/11 and Jenga are the same.
It's a controlled demolition.
Like if you think rape jokes are funny.
So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.
I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.
Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.
Me: "/"
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃