Worst Jokes Ever
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
your mom
I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Women.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.