Worst Jokes Ever
What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?
He became spotless!!!
I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.
Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
What do you call a racist community? America.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.
I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.