Worst Jokes Ever

I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!

Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?

They wanted some chocolate balls.

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?

I don't know! I don't care!

Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...

Michael Jackson.

You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!

Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"

The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."

Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"

What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon.

What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?

Covid.

My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.

My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.

Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you have frog's legs?"

"Why, yes."

"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"

What borders on stupidity?

Canada and Mexico.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.

The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"