Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

Friend 1: Eyyy gurl

Me: Hey! (Fake smile)

Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?

6 hours later

Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?

Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.

Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.

Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

Classroom: *visible panic*

Location is in London by the way.

One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.

His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"

Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."

People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."

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    • A priest is drowning in a river. A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that God will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you three f***ing boats and you didn't take them!"

    Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

    Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.

    My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."

    A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.

    "What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"