Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

My granddad killed Hitler.

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

If an orphan was Spiderman, which movie would he be in?

"No Way Home."

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.

You have more chin than brain cells!

I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.

What do you call a dead hooker?

It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.

"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?

Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?

"Because his dad never brought the milk."

I was at work yesterday and I saw this kid crying. I went up to him and asked him where his parents were, and he started to cry even more. Gosh, don't you just love working at the orphanage?

Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said, "Go away, you won’t bring it back."

What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?

Raped.

I'd rate the food in Afghanistan a 9/11. That shit was bomb.

Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.