Worst Jokes Ever
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
what's the worst thing to say to an emo?
if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question.”
St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister responds, “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Todoroki POV: Deku = femboy.
Deku POV: Todoroki = big 8=====D.
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"