Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Once I'm done choking you,
You will be too.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"