Worst Jokes Ever
Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question.”
St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister responds, “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Todoroki POV: Deku = femboy.
Deku POV: Todoroki = big 8=====D.
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.