Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.

What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?

Freeze burgers.

What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.

"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.

So I treat everyone like garbage.

Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?

•Terminal

I like my Oreos how I like my victims... Drowning.

The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of disabled children.

Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?

Asking for a friend.

What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.

Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”