Worst Jokes Ever
Twin Towers are like genders, there used to be 2.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
Dark humor never gets old, like kids from Africa.
Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
What’s a Mexican's favorite game?
Borderlands.
So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.