GOD better hope they got a elevator to heaven
DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue asks, “Hey, what’s your body count?”
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, “I’m talking about sex.”
The man then turns back and mumbles, “Oh… I thought you saw inside the basement…”
A kid in the hospital says his father “I want to be an astronaut when I’m older, daddy!” The dad responds to this, saying “You can be that if you can cure your Stage 4 Cancer, buddy.”
Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? – Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.