2 cows in a field. One says to the other, 'mooooooooo’ The other says, ‘Tut, I was gonna say that’

what do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little jimmy tries to take one.

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little jimmy

“Hi Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?” " Oh, Johnny you know Matt doesn’t have any arms or legs." “I know, we just wanted to use him as third base.”

2 fe male mouse met and one spoke yesterday I met a mouse he was black and he had wings and he had some cool sharp teeth he said he only at night

other mouse : ummm…thats a bat

that asshole he told me that he is a pilot

i have no puns because i dont play soccer.

how bad is explosive diarrhea when a muslim has it? Because my chipotle blew up yesterday.

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says few its hot in here the other muffin says OMG A TALKING MUFFIN

I heard an unusual word the other day: “Opaque”

Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.

What is the best way to end a cook book?

And that’s a wrap

Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSEWORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT

I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

What do you call a octupus whos father left octobyeyo

Pool table

Once a mustang always a mustang-mr Shaw

what do u call a cow that has been shot

holy cow

A Joke

what comes next in the pattern, ottffs_

Knock, knock. Who’s there. My p.....

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What’s the catch? Aigh there maytee thy catch o the day be crabs.

Why won’t my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.