Worst Jokes Ever
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
Nevermind, it's retarded.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An ethnic orgy.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.
Lying bastard never came out.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.