Worst Jokes Ever

If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.

Where did Lucy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...

Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.

Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.

- Mommy, I want a bicycle!

- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!

Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.

Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.

You people are sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! None of these are funny. Sick sick sick!!!!!!!

Potato.

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

What do you call a Mexican Baptism?

Bean Dip.

I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

What do you call a priest that is a furry?

A Catholic.

How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?

The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?