What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
Your hairline is so far back, your barber didn't know where to start.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
