Worst Jokes Ever
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
I don't like calculator jokes because they are too overused.
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!
I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
Wives are like grenades. Pull the ring, and the house is gone.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅