Worst Jokes Ever
We’ve got to celebrate our differences! 👻🤝🐵🤝🍚🤝🌮🤝💣🤝🏳️🌈🤝🍔🤝🥖🤝🍕
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.