Worst Jokes Ever
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
Your mom is hot.
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.
So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."
"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."
Watching the 9/11 documentaries, just watching a kill cam.
I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
In tiny Knotsies.
I got a PS5 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Click the 👍 if you hate school.
Why did the emo leave the bar?
Because it was happy hour.
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
What game did Al-Qaeda play with the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001? Jenga.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.