Worst Jokes Ever
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?
They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
"North America, best America."
Ratio.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them!
A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.