Worst Jokes Ever
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.
She said, "but the world is round."
I said, babe, you are my world.
I would roast you but you're already so hot.
20 likes by just cheese.
I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.
Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.