Worst Jokes Ever

God creating spiders.

God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"

So three retards walk into a classroom...

Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.

A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."

The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"

The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."

What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.

What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?

"I'd hit that."

How to fall down stairs.

Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?

Father's Day.

Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.

There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"