Worst Jokes Ever
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
Men.
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.