Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.

I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.

What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.

Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.

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  • Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.

    "Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

    That's what Elliot Rodger did.

    I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

    That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

    Shame on you Penaldo!

    Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.

    Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.

    Light it up blue 🔵

    What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?

    Brain cells make up their mind.