Worst Jokes Ever
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.
But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.
Suck on my big fat ding dong, you idiot!
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.