Worst Jokes Ever
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
What went up but never came down?
Stephen Hawking's IQ.
Call of Duty kill cam be like.
This is the best kill streak ever!
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
Why did Al Qaeda fail geometry?
'Cause they ruined the Pentagon.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”