Worst Jokes Ever
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"