Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
Worst Jokes Ever
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand π meets the little π€.
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: βThe fuck you doing with that knife?β
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.