Worst Jokes Ever

Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.

Crush: "How much do you love me?"

Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."

Crush: "But it's morning."

Me: "Exactly."

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo?

A selfie.

What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."

What are two things you could call a fart?

"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"

Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?

How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

Yo mama so fat, she blocked my internet connection.

Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.

What's a suicidal person's favorite game?

Hangman.

My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.