when your girl friend saids it is to small you say just enjoy the small thing.
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the 2 of us
Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha Ching
I feel like the twin towers, I’m broken
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room? Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
Your so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near
You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded it's title back
Your so cool that celebrities take pictures of you
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Does Eminem like MnM' s? Cause if he didn't, that would be like 'they're' not like liking 'there'.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night she’s back in bed
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, there’s gonna be a floody-floody Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy Get this animals👏out of the arky-arky “Leave me alone”
knock knock whos there parents parents who thats what an orphan would say
I went home one day a see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what going on my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guest what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
What's your religion?
