Knock knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!
XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?
A: "Those are two nice towers right there."
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nacho.
Nacho who?
Nacho Cheese!
Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"