Worst Jokes Ever
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A chopping board.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?
The Twin Towers got fucked.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?
Panera Read.
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
This is a true fact, the letter "F" in orphan stands for family.
I wish I was dead like my jokes.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
“Who are the fastest readers in the world?”
“The 9/11 pilots, they did 30 stories in 7 seconds.”
Chuck Norris sneezed and sent 2 planes flying... on September 11, 2001.