Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
what do you call it when you get married in Panera Bread?
Panera Wed.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldn’t see it.
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A chopping board.