Worst Jokes Ever
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
What do me and an emo kid have in common:
We both like to hang.
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
Why is America bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to the ugly club, they said, "Sorry, professionals only!"
Why were the twin towers fighting?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
My penis is big and long, what else is... my condom... cucumber.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
He's got no home to run to.
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.