Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.

LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"

Marvin: "I don’t believe that."

Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"

The next morning,

Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"

*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*

Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.

Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?

Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.

Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Look at me again,

It will be the end of you.