Worst Jokes Ever
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work…
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'
I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
What’s impossible?
Steven Walkings.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.