Worst Jokes Ever
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?