What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Hahahahaha......... Autism.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
