Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
How do you get a blonde to drown?
Stick a mirror at the bottom of a pool.
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.
What do you call a special needs army?
The special forces.
What do orphans do at parent teacher meetings?
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.