Worst Jokes Ever
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
What do you call a retard in the military?
Special forces.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
Spider-Man: No Way Home
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.