Worst Jokes Ever

I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?

What’s the worst part of being a pedophile?

Getting the blood out of your clown suit.

Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

Why are Americans bad chess players?

They lost 2 towers.

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.

I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.

What do depressed people do when they’re bored?

They “Hang” Out.

What did the Twin Towers say to the plane?

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD

So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

It worked really well in my local hospital.

Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.