Worst Jokes Ever

I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.

Deez nuts, can we get much higher?

Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.

Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!

Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!

You're pretty, pretty dumb, pretty toxic, pretty lame.

My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.

I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.

I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!

Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.

It worked.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head N Shoulders.

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

What kind of book does cheese read at a church?

The Hole-y Bible.

Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.

John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.

"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."

After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.

"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"

Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.

Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?

One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Jokes are not funny.