Worst Jokes Ever

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spen the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

i made a website for orphan you know what i did not add a home page

A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex...

The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."

The husband says, "OK if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times

There is a lot of difference between a man and woman saying,

"I went through a whole box of Tissues watching that movie"

What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?

A male Duck on Viagra.

Women: “Men used to go to war now they go to clubs” Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked now it’s $3.99”

A man is pulled over by a police officer.

The policeman approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem, Officer?"

The officer says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"

The driver responds, "I'd give it to you, but I don't have one."

"You don't have one?"

The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving."

The officer is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

The officer says, "Why not?"

"I stole this car."

The officer says, "Stole it?"

The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."

At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?!"

"She's in the trunk if you want to see."

The officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his own car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please?"

The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?"

"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

"Murdered the owner?"

The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please?"

The man opens the trunk, but there is nothing there.

The officer says, "Is this your car, sir?"

The man says, "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned.

"One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license."

The man digs through his pockets, pulls out a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

"Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."

The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"

People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation.....

Guys it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years

I wasn't gonna tell another emo joke but I don't want to leave anyone hanging.

I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf...

So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.

I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.

Humour is like skin, the darker it gets the less people like it

Cheap oil, no immigration and no school shootings.

Corona did what Trump promised

Pulled pork? Yeah i cranked my hog today too.

Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended

I’m in catholic school

i went to the pharmacy the other day. i tried to buy a pack of condoms but i pretended i didnt have enough money to mess with the cashier. i went back into the aisles of the store got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap bought them and walked out. i loved the look on the casheirs face when they saw my decision.