Worst Jokes Ever
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions.
How do you ground a Gen Z?
Make them go outside and socialize.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏