So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Worst Jokes Ever
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What do you call an orphan with no relatives?
An orphan with no relatives.
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
Life is like a penis. It is short.
Your penis is literally BLUE!
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
Your hairline goes back to China.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t home run.
British tv: 🖥
Italian tv: 📺
The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.
One was just a plane tortilla.
The other one was also just a plane tortilla.
And the third one went to the wrong address.
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.
