Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.
You know what I told my little brother plane?
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and a driver’s education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
You want to know why Santa brings such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
What do you call a nosy Mexican?
That's nacho business.
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
What do you call a shedding Panera Bread?
Panera Shed.
What do you call an angry Panera Bread?
Panera slapped!
What kind of Panera Bread do fishers use?
Panera bait.
What do you call a stuck Panera Bread?
Panera Wedged.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
What do you call a Panera Bread with hair?
Panera Hair.
What do you call an injured Panera Bread?
Panera Bled.
What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?
Panera Lead.
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?
The local Aryan network.
As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.
I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."
