Woodworking jokes

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?

A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.

What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?

The second nightstand.

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

Why did the rapper become a carpenter?

To build some SOLID BARS.

If trees could kill you, they wood.

A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"

The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.

Do trees shit?

Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?