Today i was asked to go out by 17 Woman. Well i was in the Woman bathroom💀
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women
He said the ATM outside
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him tampon and ask him what period it came from
How does a woman scare a gynecologist
By becoming ventriloquist
There is a lot of difference between a man and woman saying,
"I went through a whole box of Tissues watching that movie"
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video
I saw a homeless dude and gave him 1$
I saw a homeless woman and gave her 0.77$
Homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge
A homeless man is walking along a road, and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."
![1) buy a lobster
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My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
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14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident](/2/65cf7ea8a37d5421dd92e8dc.jpg)
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
What do you get when you cross A-rod with Chris brown
Cheater cheater woman beater
What's 2ft long, blue and stiff and keeps a woman up all night????
Cot death.
I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home she said yes, so I took it
