I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
Win Jokes
Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
The Gold Coast Titans winning the NRL. Best joke ever.
I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.
How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Your Fortnite win rate.
You know the only way to win is you have to actually planet.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"