Who deleted my stuff??? Woooow, you racist just because I'm Hispanic?
Whos Jokes
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
How Jupiter was discovered.
Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there?
Not Susie.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
No?
They both got six months.
Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollinnnnnn!
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, you wouldn't get it.
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
