Wheel chair jokes
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.
Me: Guess who came crawling right back?
The reason Steven Hawking died is he lost his internet connection.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla