What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf.....s ain't gonna believe this sh.."
2 people about to have sex realise they have no lube. In their desperate, horny haste they looked for the nearest Downy and asked it " speak into my hand. "
Upon their return to the bed they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said "Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight! She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts"
Why do you pay cash for metro train on Newcastle upon Tyne
If, Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money. P.S.. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to 'When You Wish Upon A Window', with the castle being the Blue Peter ship, instead.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf and he worked at a morgue. So one time poor Dan got confused and start having sex with the rotting corpse. He then came home, and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
A person had a child named bl another named es and one named s the next was named you , they were a very unholy family. There children were shamed upon because their names spell out bless you
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness. Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!"
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said "Hey, he's like my dad." "Really" asked a little girl? "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say 'Thank God' and to stop the horse, to say ' Hallelujah'. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tail? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, " Yall mutherfuckers aint gonna believe dis shit"
There as soon as changed into an undergo and a rabbit and that they hated every other. The undergo and rabbit then stumbled upon a mystical talking tree. The tree stated: “i can provide you 3 wishes a bit if you will prevent combating!”So the bear went first. “I want all the bears inside the forest are ladies.” And all the bears within the forest become females.The rabbit stated: “I want I had a helmet.” Rabbit receives the helmet and the bear looks at him funny.The bear wishes: “I desire all the bears in the United States are ladies.” The desire became granted.The rabbit says, “I desire i’ve a bike.” by this factor the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest aspect he’s ever seen. The rabbit could want for cash and have all the bikes in the world.The endure says: “I want all the bears inside the world are woman.” The want is granted.while it’s the rabbit’s flip to wish, he places on his helmet, receives on his bike, and says: “I desire that endure is homosexual.” Funniesjokes.com
billie: hi
me: you wanna hear a story?
billie: yes sure
me: once upon a time, i ran over your dog last night.
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan". Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris steped on a Lego. R.I.P the Lego piece.
