Unboxing jokes
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault.
The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.