Unboxing jokes

What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.

His parents weren't too happy.

What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?

"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault.

The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.