Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...
Toast Jokes
What do orphans use to make breakfast? My ass! 🤣🤣
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.
Roses are red.
Roses are red.
Roses are red.
I smell burnt toast.
Bread?
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
