I told a orphan there was 363 days in a year
Son: Dad I had sex for the first time. Dad: Would you like to talk about it? Son: Sure Dad: Sit down and lets talk about it. Son: I can't my butt hurts.
if anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
37. After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting... "Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!" Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time".
38. An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "The soup is cold." His astonished mother exclaimed, "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?" The boy looked at her and replied, "Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
39. A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, "How long will it take me to get to the next town?" The farmer didn't answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out "About 20 minutes!" "Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?" "Didn't know how fast you could walk".
40. A Husband and Wife at Custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex wife. Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?" Ex wife: "I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him." Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason." Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband. Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?" The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?"
Anne Frank: this one time at camp. someone had to much gas
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
why do Pepole have a all of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time
man 2001 just called they want a tower back
i love fortnite because i touched grass for the first time and also i love chung lei
Your mum is so fat she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones
me: the last time I used DUOLINGO was WHEN THE DINOSAURS WENT EXTINCT.
duolingo: lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
i made a deal with satan. i would get a free pass to hell, if i serve as a demon lord. so, see you guys at the end of times!
what is i joke that will never end even tho you want it to? For me life