Their jokes

Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?

A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.

Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?

Because it flew over their heads.

He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?

Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!

A teacher asked his students a math question.

"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

"One dollar!" she said.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.

Never break someone’s heart, they only have one.

Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

How are orphans and blind kids similar?

They both have never seen their parents :)

Why don't witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip on their broom.

Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!

Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.