Their jokes

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?

Children.

What do you call an emo filming their suicide?

America's Funniest Home Videos.

Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

How to make an orphan's hand bleed? By making them clap until their parents come back.

Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.

... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.

Why don't blind people skydive?

Because it scares their dogs too much!

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."

Why do orphans have water in their cereal?

Because their dad never came home with the milk.

Everyone loves orphans,

other than their parents of course.

Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!

Why is it so easy bullying orphans?

They can’t tell their mom.

Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?

Because daddy never came back home with the milk.

A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.

She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.

The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.

The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"

Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"

If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.