The jokes

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

Why did they put the Petronas towers? Eh, you do you.

Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.

What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

I got an iPhone 14 for my brother? That was the best trade I ever made.

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

"Joe Mama so fat she plays pool table the Earth."

You're so emo, the sun turned black.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

10, being in the middle, tried to prevent 9/11 from getting closer.

Sorry, I meant 9 and 11.

What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?

The double trouble.