The Suicide

The Suicide jokes

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

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  • I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."

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  • Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

    Friend 2: Pizza.

    Friend 3: Donuts.

    Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

    Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

    Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

    How many fingers am I holding up?

    Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

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  • I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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  • Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

    Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

    Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

    Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

    Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*