Temporal paradox jokes

When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:

"Looks like I am going back to the future!"

TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.

A time traveler walks into a bar.

He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.

The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.