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Submit Jokes

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.

I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and i will try to make a joke based off the object.

If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.

I will give the person credit each joke i do.

I'm funny but sad I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

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I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. Anyway...

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application, I asked him to show me his skills and experience but he just started diving and asking for pens and tapins, I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.