Stimulus check jokes

A day in the life of a Biden voter.

$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.

No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.

$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.

50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.

No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.

Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.

New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.

Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.

Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.

What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?

If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.