Stepdad jokes

Squirrel

  • Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.

    Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?

    Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.

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    Insult

  • You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.

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  • Cancer

  • My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

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    Lumberjack

  • My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

    I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?

    Milf

  • I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

    My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

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