SOS jokes
I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.
The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."
So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."
Why do orphans cry so much?
They canβt find a place to go.
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
Your forehead is so big, it's bigger than a school!
Yo momma so gay, she watched straight porn because gay porn was boring because she is gay!
Memes
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich π
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
Why are you gay? Because I said so!
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" π π π
So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D
Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?
It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.