SOS jokes

During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.

Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.

I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...

Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.

Why do orphans like to be gay?

So they can call someone "daddy."

Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.

Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.

The sir: My children will be devastated.

Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.

The sir: Whatever it takes.

*Suppressed gunshots*

Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on an AirPod Pro, she turned it into an iPad!

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!

The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'm in school lol.

Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.

Yo mama so "PHAT," she has big boobs and nice legs!

How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!

Just to an orphan.

Orphan: You're stupid.

You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.