Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Why is Roblox so blocky? Because it "ro-block."
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Yo mama so fat she can’t even fit in the suitcase
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.
The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"
The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."
The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."
So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"
The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."
The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.
"Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.
