SOS Jokes

Yo mama so fat, she was mistaken for Eric Cartman from South Park.

You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

Your mama is so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep.

An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.

Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer!

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

I made this up.

I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.

Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."

Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.