A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
